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Other women would say, ‘Do what you want, as long as you stay who you are with me. You've fallen in love with this other guy now, and I think you deserve to go live with him for a while.
I just don’t want to hear about it.’ “Another older feminist independent woman said to her partner, ‘You’ve been so awesome to me. Just come and visit me periodically.’” And even among men who were out and active members of the LGBT community, misogyny lingered.
Society, the media, counselling services, and schools tend to 'erase' their relationships by grouping bisexuality within the gay or straight binary; or forget altogether that bisexual men and their partners are of all ages, ethnicities, countries, classes, she explains.
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As Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli explains: “One: This is what I’m experiencing right now. As a result, if a man’s partner discovered his bisexuality by mistake - for instance by finding gay porn or a condom in his pocket - women generally responded in one of three ways.
By breaking up with the partner immediately; ending the relationship because of an unrelated issue; or communicating and navigation the situation.
“Some bi men and their partners felt they no longer belonged and were discriminated against by gay men and lesbians.
Some women who had been loved by gay men were now hearing comments like, ‘You’d better lock your boyfriends away, the female predator is here’,” says Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli. Is the bedroom a sacred space or can others come into bed with us? Are we going to do gendered monogamy - meaning the man could only date other men and the woman other women?
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